Monday, August 5, 2013

Why I'll Work When I Have Kids...

Talking about the future is almost as scary as The Sixth Sense when it came out, almost.
So when my brother was talking to me about life with a newborn and my sister-in-law going back to work, and he said, "'ll get it someday." 
And he's right, I will get it someday.

And this right here is when I will say it: This is my opinion now, but I reserve the right to change my mind in the future.  I am open to the fact that I might have a totally different opinion years from now.  Additionally I want to perface this post by saying I don't believe there is no right or wrong way to be a Mom, working or not, you're a Mom, and that in and of it's self is respectable, beautiful, and amazing.

When I think about having kids, my internal monologue is as follows... chicka chicka what? have kids...give me a few years pah-lease.  I still have some good drinking important things to do.  What I do know is that someday I'd like to be a Mom, and if all goes 'as planned', is there is such thing as plan, I'd love to be working Mom.

Growing up my Mom worked, she's always worked. She worked to help put food on the table, live in a good neighborhood, take family vacations, put me through those awkward brace face years, and send me to college.  She worked to be a perfect mother, lead by example, care with compassion, and love unconditionally.  In my eyes she fully defines the term is the 'perfect Mom'.

'Perfect Mom', however is open to interpretation these days.  Defining the 'modern' Mom is nearly impossible. I digress.  Some Mom's work, some Mom's don't, and neither is inherently better or worse than the other.  Kids success isn't measured on whether their Mom worked, or not.  And not one kid is better than the other from the 'status' of their Mother.

But this is why I want to work, becuase my Mom did.  Any every daughter grows up wanting to be just like their Mom. And because when I stop to think about how many things I want to give to my children, things I want to provide them with, and opportunities I want to gift to them, I get overwhelmed.  I want to be strong. My Mom did it, so can I.

I have dreams of retiring young(ish) and having a cushy 401k to live off of, thanks to years of hard work, dual incomes, and proper saving. I dream of sending my kids to college and paying for every single penny, I said college, not college and graduate school future children.  I dream of having European family vacations, and a timeshare (or two).  I dream of giving my kids lives that were similar to mine.  And I'll work as hard as I need to to achieve my dreams, because that's what my Mom (and Dad) did. 

Years from now, when I have kids ask my how I feel, I might have a completely different opinion. I might hate myself for having written this post, and wonder how I ever thought this.  Right now many of you might be reading this and thinking I am crazy.  And as we speak stay at home Mom's are shaking their heads, reading this and thinking to themselves, "...she doesn't get it."

I might never get it, but then again I might, I'll leave my options open.
I ain't got on crystal ball, but right now I believe I'd like to work when I have kids.


  1. I agree 100%, and you're probably right; it is probably because that's what my mama did. Part of my reason is that I have over $100k in loans for a degree I best be using at least for a little while. ;)

  2. I worked for the first 3 years of my daughters life, it was so hard to leave my her every single day. I was so jealous of the time she got to spend with Daddy who worked nights and was her primary caretaker. I now have the best of both worlds, I'm a work at home mommy so I get to work AND be with my beautiful daughter too!

  3. I think I'll work too. I don't have kids yet either so I can't say for sure, but at this point I just can't imagine staying home all day and not having my own constant stream of income!

  4. oh god, just thinking about kiddos make me get all red and splotchy. i am not ready for them yet, i can't afford, i can't take on the responsibility to shape their little minds, i can't just put them in a crate when they're being bad.... i think i have some growing up to do.

  5. This is a decision that (hopefully!) I will be making in the near future. I actually did a post about it a couple months ago. My mom is a supermom and worked super full time throughout my entire childhood. However, her job is running the family horse farm, so she was still very present in my childhood and was able to pick us up from school, play with us outside in the afternoons, etc. I just started a new career in a field that, if all goes according to plan, will allow me to work from home once we have wee ones. The best of both worlds (I hope). I am so intrigued by this debate the ladies of our generation are having and appreciate that we have so many options when it comes to a career and babies.

  6. But I totally agree! My mom was a working mom too and in no way do I resent her or think I didn't have a good childhood. Derek mentioned me staying at home when we have kids a million years from now and I couldn't imagine it! I have worked too hard to get where I am, and I know that I will be able to provide a better life for my children if I work.

  7. I really loved this post! Working moms are the best....actually any mom is the best. I am a firm believer that there is no "correct way" for doing it, there is only the correct way for you and your family.

  8. Love this post! I think no matter your choice, the fact that you want to give your future kids a great life is the best decision. ;)

  9. A great post. My mom was a single mom and worked very hard to support us. I have a strong work ethic today because of her and because of what happened to my dad, I value having the option to support my family on my own if anything ever happened. I hope one day my children will have the same work ethic and independence my mom passed on to me. That's why I work. I know everyone comes from different circumstances and I love that we can all support one another no matter what we choose to do.

  10. love this post. So true. My mom stayed home and that is what I have always wanted to do. Oh how our mommies influence us!

  11. I also plan on being a working mom, but children are not even close to happening right now. My mom was able to do both, and I think I will be able to too.


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