Tuesday, January 22, 2013

If I Were a Boy

If I were a boy, there a about a zillion things I'd do...

So I am linking up with Erin, from Living In Yellow 
to tell you what I would do if I were a boy.

I'd totally let my girlfriend go shopping for me, the hassle of the mall is too much.

I'd drink beer and burp in public shamelessly. To be clear, I do drink beer in public, but am humiliated if I burp in public, that's just not lady like.

I would totally be captain every sports team, because lets be honest no one wants to date 'that guy on the soccer team', they want to do the captain.  If you're going to do it ladies, do it well...you get what I am saying.

I'd listen to country music, and go to as many concerts with my buddies as possible.  That might be the best place to pick up some single ladies...

Oh, those were day days #collegethrowback

I would totally change my own oil, for two reasons. One to save money, two to impress that girl who has no idea her oil even needs to be changed (and no, I'm not that girl, I get my oil changed on time).

I would totally do things like this in public, why the heck not???

This was not a staged event.

I'd probably 'pre-load' or 'pre-game' before I went out the bars. I mean common I'd have to save money some how, and buying ladies drinks can get expensive.

I would smile more often. Every girl, love a guy who smiles. Don't even tell me I am wrong.

I'd always wonder why the heck girls use so much chap stick, is that really necessary??

I'd own a dog in college. I'd get tons of ass attention.

I'd be scared out of my mind to ask permission to marry someones daughter. Talk about pressure.

I'd drink chocolate milk, eat gummy snacks, make turkey and cheese sandwiches, and put insane amounts of taco bell sauce on my home made tacos, because I don't 'have to grow up'.

I would totally milk that 'guys mature later' stereotype, just as an excuse to act more ridiculous for a longer period of time without being judged socially.

I'd totally be jealous if a girl could do something (aside from laundry, baking, cooking, and cleaning)  better than me. I'd need to earn my 'man card'.

I would mow every neighbors lawn, in hopes of seeing more of the 'cute girl on the block'.

I'd enjoy the ability to 'go' in locations that don't include a toilet seat.

I'd be really impressed if a girl could hang with me on the mountain.

Don't lie boys, you were impressed.


I would scream really really really loud if I stubbed my toe, just to be dramatic.

I would get my girlfriend flowers 'just because' every once in a while, just to get out of the dog house score even more brownie points.

I'd watch Tosh.0 all the time, while eating a slim jim, in bed. Just because I could.

I'd never be cold, ever.

Lastly, I'd wish secretly that when I had a huge pimple on my face that I too had awesome concealer and powder to cover it up, or at least make it less noticeable.

If you were a boy...
What would you do???

12 comments:

  1. Hahaha too good! My favorite is the have a dog in college to get more ass one. That's a true statement if I've ever heard one.

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    Replies
    1. Right, I mean didn't you love those guys with dogs???

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  2. haha loved your entire list... but the one that got me most was never be cold ever!! HAHA How the heck do guys never get cold!? My husband is always telling me Im crazy cause its "so hot in here" and Im like freezing! HAHA

    ~Maria-Isabel
    www.agapelovedesigns.com

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    Replies
    1. I mean, my boyfriend is NEVER cold, and I JUST don't get it!!!! He flips his side of the duvet on me :) How is that possible??? Thanks for stopping by!!!!

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  3. hahah love your list. especially the having a dog in college and just taking weird pictures. although i already do that now it would probably be more acceptable.

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    Replies
    1. Helene... Thanks for stopping by!!!! I just feel like when boys do funny things, it's MORE funny!!!!

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  4. Umm, I totally eat all of the things on the "not growing up" food list. At least I wouldn't get judged for it ;)

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    Replies
    1. I mean I'd love to do that for the REST of my life. Judge free!!!!

      Thanks for stopping by!!

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  5. HAHA love the going anywhere without a toilet!!! That is so true! boys can pee anywhere!!!

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  7. As a girl, you can still change your own oil - and you know what?? It impresses guys AND girls, even if they're just your friends!!! :D

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