Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Lady Lumps: Women Stereotypes

What's it like to be a girl.
We're stereotyped for all too many things.

1. We're bad drivers.
Which I admit, I am not as good of a driver as my Dad, brother, or boyfriend, but I would like to think with the exception of my one 'moment' if you will, I am do a pretty darned good job.  I just feel like if I can drive to and from work safely every single day, I can handle driving to and from the grocery store with my boyfriend as co-pilot, he thinks otherwise.

2. We PMS.
Okay so this might be true. But the only reason this happens is because we have to get a period.  If guys had to get a period, their PMS would be 204,487,319 times worse.  Because lets be honest, they are guys.  P.S. Boyfriend, I am sorry I cried after I got the wrong taquitos and shoe laces last week, I just felt like I had disappointed you, I was about to start my period...

3. Directions Aren't For Us.
Okay correct me if I am wrong, but left after the Starbucks, second right after the Taco Bell, and next to the Nail Salon are VERY accurate directions.  Who needs North, South, East, and West when we can get around 'organically' if you will.  Sorry boys, they roads I take might not be the most efficient, but I always get where I need to be. And if I call for help, please don't tell me "head South on ...." that WON'T HELP ME

4. We Crave Chocolate.
I'm not certain why we get this stereotype, it's not like boys don't ever need something sweet and savory in their lives, oh that's why they have girlfriends.  I guess this kind of goes along with number two, but there are worse things to crave chocolate, and it's not like we eat it every.single.day. We might only eat it six times a week, but who is counting. Okay, I am definitely not guilty of picking all the dark chocolate chips off of the cookie dough in the freezer at work...

5. I'll Be Ready in Five Minutes.
Okay, so this is why the world is unfair. Men get better looking as they age (read every man ever, especially George Clooney), and women get wrinkly and gray.  We have to do things to fight against everything (including gravity ladies) we have working against us.  So guys, if you want to have a good lookin' lady by your side, DON'T RUSH THE PROCESS, even if we do change our outfits five seven times before we leave.  It's worth the wait.

6. No Farting Fluffing Allowed.
Okay since when was it decided that women don't fart fluff.  Fluff is what my college roommate called farting, and it sounds much more feminine, so there you have it FLUFF.  But seriously this is just wrong. Don't two people regardless of gender have the same likeliness/probability of fluffing??? I'm not good at statistics, but I am going out on a limb and saying YES...Yeah that's what I thought.  So to be clear, I don't fluff, I'm a lady....cough cough.

7. We Gossip.
Who doesn't want to know what happened to that jock in High School, or the quiet nerdy girl in your chem lab??? Facebook is like the US weekly version of your life. You can see who wore what where, who is dating who, who broke up with who, who married who, etc.  Or for a older more seasoned lady, you want to know who's Mom brought those awful cookies to the potluck, or who was late to pick up their kid from soccer practice, and why.
 It's not gossip if it's true right???

These are just a few of my takes on stereotypes that make me laugh.

 Any other fun ones to add to my list?
Can you relate??
Let me know....and maybe they'll be a second edition...


  1. Oh my gosh. "Facebook is the US Weekly version of your life." I've seriously never read something so true and so amazing. You are 100% right. Holy crap. It's like a revelation.

    Also, I'm like a 10x better driver than Naveed. But I hate driving. So I let him drive and then I correct him the whole time. He LOVES it. (Not).

    1. Glad you liked it!!! I mean it is the TRUTH!!!!

  2. I guess my post decided it just doesn't want me to comment... I was trying to say that I thought this post was hilarious. Seriously, it had me cracking up. I totally agree with the posts about the PMS, driving, and five minutes. I always get asked if I'm PMS-ing. No, I don't PMS 30-31 days a month. I just have a change in attitude every now and then when someone frustrates the life out of me. And uh, I'm not that bad at driving. The people around me limit how I can drive when they do ridiculous things like leave the crappy parking spot for me or turn in front of me. The "five minutes"... You know they would complain if we didn't have that extra time! They would regret taking us out in public... Life is hard...


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