Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Zoey Confessions: a K9 Point of View

This is my cute little puppy Zoey (aka Zoey girl)
Shes got quite the personality, and asked if she could write a guest post on my blog.
So Here She Goes:

Hi Ladies,
I'm the charming little black lab in the picture below.
Those 'white girls' (or goldens) are my cousins, oh and they happen to be sisters.
They love to play the 'third wheel' game with me, not only because of my breed, but my color as well. Some days I think it'd be easier to be a yellow lab, like Marley, 
so at least we'd have something in common.
But it's really not that important I suppose. I kind of like being the 'special one'.
This weekend was my first time to the snow. My heart was not ready for the all the palpitating it did.
That stuff is like Doggie Disneyland. I could play in it for hours. Also, it's way easier to dig in, which I love, and I guess Mom and Dad don't mind if I dig it either, because they didn't yell at me for doing it. I guess it isn't part of their permanent landscape, like the flower bed I dug out a couple of weeks ago. 

Anyways I was taken home in early June of this past year, and have been the center of attention ever since.  It's hard to say I don't struggle with a severe case of 'only child syndrome', Mom and Dad spoil me. I mean common, I have three dogs beds and a kennel in the 1200 square foot house. 
 I'm not complaining or anything. 

Mom, we both know that laundry day is my favorite. I'll steal yours and Dad's socks from the pile (clean or dirty, I don't care which) and bring them to my rug in the office where I hide until you realize I'm 'missing'. I'm sorry if you have to clean any sock bits up a few days later in the lawn, they just taste soooooo darned good.

Mom, I admit the real reason I shredded the dog bed lining you got for my kennel is because I knew if I did, I'd get something better, I have you WAYY more figured out then you think.  Low and behold, you gave me one of the soft and fuzzy winter blankets, it actually went on your bed before it was mine.  It's much more comfortable and warm. I know Ive got a good thing, so I won't be chewing a single hole in this blanket. But if you even try to buy me a replacement from Petco, rest assured I'll shred it in seconds. 

This whole 'walking concept' is dumb. I pull on my leash when you walk me, because I'd rather be running.  When you put my gentle leader on, I'm embarrassed, and try my hardest to remove it from my face. I'll never stop trying Mom, imagine having something attached to your face to correct behaviors. The only human equivalent I can come up with is it's like wearing a headgear in public. There is no way to make it look good, and it's always embarrassing.

I'm sorry I have trouble 'combo-ing' my morning pee and poop. I can honestly do them both in the same trip, but I think it's so funny to make you take me out twice.  First you take me out 
and wait for me to pee, then we go inside and you start something else, which is when
 I cry at the door again for my morning duke.  My favorite time to do this is when you
 are just about to get in the shower, because you always roll your eyes, wrap a towel around your self, and take me out begrudgingly.

Oh and the last thing, I don't pick up my back feet when I walk around at home. 
Call me 'Shuffles' if you will.  My parents think it's because the whole house has wood floors and that's where I 'learned to walk'. But all things being fair, I learned to walk long before I met Mom and Dad, it's really because I am a lazy dog (at times that is).  

Well I'm off, Dad just set up the new surround sound, and let's just say, it's working.
Until next time ladies...


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